An Experiment Turned Experience

One night I was laying in bed getting ready for sleep.  My neck hurt a bit so I rolled the pillow under the arch of my neck and laid on my back.  I was very comfortable.  I had thought about my third eye, a healing Chakra, and decided to stare at with my eyes closed.  At first I saw the color blue, bright dark blue.  The color became enlarged, then shrunk, and seemed to do so on and off.  Then I began to see what looked like eye lashes.  My logical brain told me they were reflections of my own eyelashes imposing an image. I then decided that I was not going to judge this. Others believe in religion, gods, and other things, so it is okay for me to embrace this spiritual experience as it was.  As I continued to gaze at my third eye, I began to see the lashes part. A deep, beautiful eye appeared.  


I felt satisfied at that time and pondered what I had just experienced.  Each night, I would try again.  Each night I saw more.  After the lashes and eye, I saw a face, then long straight hair, then an image of a beautiful woman.  Her eyes were dark, but sure, not frightening.  Her stance was strong and confident, but welcoming and assuring at the same time. She was calm, relaxed, and full of love.  When I saw her I felt comforted, loved, hugged, warm, and safe.  

I know that she is with me every day, I know that she is the real me. When I am feeling unsafe or distressed, she comforts me.  When I am feeling lost or sad, she is there.  I find her just by closing my eyes for a moment. As time passes I feel her presences never leaving.  She reassures me that I am good, loved, and safe.

Wizard of Oz - The Getting Is The Giving

Over the past several years I have encountered things that remind me of the Wizard of Oz.  A book I had read at a past employer referenced the work environment to be similar to the characters and story in the movie. "If I only had,"...but you've had it all along.  Very nice thought and something I have found to be true with some searching.  

I have kept this story in my mind for many years and have found it to be relevant to so many other jobs, relationships, and experiences.  I have seen the bad witch, in work, and acquaintances.  The bad witch was jealous of her good witch sister.  The bad witch wanted peace in her life, but was so blocked by her own self that she substituted peace with power alone.  Her evil monkeys danced around for her. She was powerful to those who were weak and afraid.  As you remember she was evil and mean...and a house fell on her.  (getting what she gave:))

The good witch showed Dorothy and her friends that if they trusted themselves, they could triumph over evil and find peace.  Dorothy and her friends were open to the thought, they had nothing to lose by trying.  The giving is the getting.  Dorothy gave her friends companionship and trust, and they returned it.  The journey gave them strength, courage, and the comfort of Auntie Em.

I personally have played the part of each character at some stage in my life.  I prefer to be more good than evil.  While some days I am as lost as Dorothy, or frighted as the lion, I try to stay on my path and look at the bright side of anything.  

Celebration And Reflection

Last week I wasn't sure if I would have money for my rent.  Neither my son or I had jobs and we were running out of money fast.  I remained calm and kept my what if thinking at bay.  Rather than obsessing in negativity and doubt, I had a clear mind.  I learned to sit back and watch my thought rather than be it.  

This week my son and I both started new jobs!  Not only are we both working now, but we are working for phenomenal companies that appreciate their employees, offer growth, and promote training.  These are key items that I did not have in my last job.  I am in awe at my life and how I have reacted to it over these past several weeks.  I know myself more than ever before.  I feel healthy, content, and happy with my life.  I have met so many wonderful people in this time.  I have spent valuable time with my son, time that has allowed a great growth for his future.  And I am learning how to let my baby bird fly from the nest, my beautiful boy is truly becoming a man.

I don't recommend this to everyone, but I would do it all over again without question.  Woo hoo!!!

How To Plan Without Stress

Some of you may have seen some of my postings about meditation.  Finally I have made the time to focus on me.  I recently joined a group of people who are learning, meditating, and it has helped me learn how to relax rather the stress.  One of the things I found stressful was planning. Planning is a normal thing that we all do. We plan our trips, our shopping lists, our careers.  These are normal things that are non personal actions. Sometimes when my calendar is full and my actions are all planned out, my mind begins to fill with what ifs and cants. Suddenly my ability to think clearly ceases and I am overwhelmed with thought of doubt.


Last month, I found a group on meetup.com with a session titled, How To Live With A Peace Of Mind And Without Stress! The session was a couple hours on a Saturday in a beautiful part of San Diego.  I invited a neighbor and went with an open mind.  I became aware that day of something so simple, yet profound.  I met kind people, and I had dialogue with others who had similar experiences.

Who/What Am I with Albert Nahmani teaches being present and aware during our daily activities. Planning is a non personal, non stressful thing.  Our minds can sometimes subtly slide into conversations about what if causing doubt and worry.  Why does this happen, how can I recognize it?  If our mind is conditioned to recognize this action we can become aware of it.  Understanding how to recognize the difference of what is and what if may allow the worry to be lessened because it is just a thought, it is not happening now.


Recognition of this subtle sliding is a technique I plan to practice and master.  I am enjoying free Dialogue/Satsang's  with Albert Nahmani and Who/What Am I.  If you ever want to join me, and visit San Diego, come on over:)

Ever Wonder Why I Didn’t Call You Back?

Leaving messages sounds like an easy task.  Many times people forget to leave important information in their message.  For example, “Hi Chris, I just wanted to follow up with you on the job we talked about a few weeks back.  Call me when you can.”  First of all, who are you? What job? A few weeks ago, really??  What is your number?  Unfortunately this happens.  


Here are some tips on how can you as the caller can leave a message with excellence.


• State your name first and last 
• Provide your phone number clearly
• Why you are calling, get to the point  
• Repeat your name and phone number.  DO NOT RUSH!! 
• Don’t ramble, allow you message to act as a text with a voice


These tips will help ensure the receiver gets a clear message without frustration.  No matter how impactful your last meeting was, you never know what else is going in their life.  Be clear and allow time for the receiver to write down your information.  If you are leaving a message with a person, follow the above tips and be sure to ask when you can expect a call back.

Tell me about yourself

The land of self employment is exciting, lots of hard work, but very slow in getting deals signed.  Two proposals later, I am continuing my search for stable employment and working the individual biz on the side.  After weeks of tweaking my resume and cover letters my hard work is paying off.  Interviews are being scheduled and it's time to put my game face on.  I typically do well in the interview.  I am confident and can speak clearly.  After years in management, I have done my fair share of interviewing.  My favorite questions to ask are, "describe a situation with an unsatisfied customer...what was the issue...how did you handle it,"  Or, "if you were a car, what kind would best describe you," and my favorite, "tell me something about yourself that would surprise me."

My first interview was last week with Apple.  I applied for an at-home management position.  How fantastic, work from home for a big name and add some sparkle and shine to my resume.  My fingers were fast at work researching the company, setting up my Skype account.  I practiced in the mirror and my dear friend helped me decorate my room so the backdrop of the webcam made it seem like an office.  The day came and went with discontentment. I wasn't prepared for the questions!  I stuttered, I rambled, it was like my brain went on vacation and took my speaking abilities with it.  


I know what I did wrong, I should have asked for clarification.  "How did you manage," was the question.  Well, I listed actions I took, how I performed staff evaluations, one on ones, performance improvements...but were they asking if I was a micro manager, or a working manager.  What did that question really mean.  I've been reading educational posts on how to interview, what to say, how to prepare etc.  For some reason that all went out the window and my intellect froze.


This week I have another interview with a large hospital.  I must prepare for the questions: why did you leave your last job without having another job?  Why should I hire you?  Tell me about yourself?  How will you make a difference?  Learning from my past will help me grow in the future. I will be prepared and rock their socks off.  Something good is going to happen, I believe this, I know this.

Social Living

My calendar next week has more friend activities than work. I want to live this way. Feeling a little lost however. I have been searching for part time work and perfecting my focus for freelancing. I love to do so many different things and it is affecting my focus. If only I could be, "Jack, provider of many trades, master juggler" :)  I will keep my head up and my dimples in check.  

I attended my first singles meet up event. It was in downtown San Diego.  The outside of the building reminded me of some pubs in Dublin. The exterior was sunshine yellow with white trim and a cool sign. The Tipsy Crow...There was a main floor bar, upstairs lounge, and basement dance floor. The interior was decorated dark with reds, browns, leather and velvet, very cool venue. I will go back there. I arrived just after the start of mingle time. There was a fairly even mixture of men and women, all over 30 and all professionals. 

I made a quick scan of the room. It was strange to know that each person in the room was single, over 30, and looking to meet people. Typically going out you don't always know what you are in for. This helped with the guess work. There was one obviously aesthetically appealing man (to me anyway) and he turned out to be the least interesting person to talk to...go figure:)  We split up into teams and played some games. Then after a raffle, I won a prize, I was approached by a man who had been eyeing me for a while. He was average height, average looks, not creepy. He asked me what I liked to do. I told him I like to hike..."so, your an outdoorsy gal...I camp, but I have a trailer, and toys, and a boat, and...." All nice, but trying too hard to impress me with mere objects.  Then after that didn't work, he calmed down and told me all about what he did for work and less about his stuff. I found him to be less annoying and more attractive. 

I was no better. When I first got there I was asked after my period of silence, "Wow, you are so talkative."  To which I said, "I'm hung over from last night." Really, did I really just admit that to a group of strangers, haha! Yes, my friends birthday was last night and I had a little too much. Anyone that knows me knows this is not a common experience, but that I cannot have more than two cocktails without feeling sick for 48 hours after. The awkwardness disappeared and the group played games and enjoyed conversations about work, travel, and life. No love connections, but I met some cool people and I will totally do it again...in fact this week I'll be playing volley ball with a group of single strangers. 

Trying not to stress about work.  I am looking for something at least part time so I can keep up this venture. I have some great family and friends that believe in me. Time to go play in the sun and forget my woes for a little.